


Got Weird

by Stealth_Noodle



Category: Final Fantasy I
Genre: Comment Fic, Final Fantasy Kiss Battle, Gen, Humor, NES Canon, Triple Drabble, Wordcount: 100-500
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-12
Updated: 2013-02-12
Packaged: 2017-11-29 00:46:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/680765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stealth_Noodle/pseuds/Stealth_Noodle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim the Investigating Dwarf and Kope the Amateur Ufologist picnic with a robot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Got Weird

"More Potato Salad?" the robot asked. It hadn't quite got the hang of serving yet; its pincers were smeared with wasted food.

"No," Jim replied sourly, in the same moment that Kope said, "Please!"

The robot looked back and forth between them, then continued ruining the contents of the picnic basket.

"We could have just left it there," Jim pointed out, again. "I wanted to leave it there."

"Don't be ridiculous." Kope set his hands on either side of the robot's square head as he added, "And don't talk about him that way. He's sensitive."

"He's a bloody overgrown mine cart, is what he is."

The robot leaned toward Kope to whisper, which it completely lacked the vocal control to accomplish. "There Is A Human Expression: 'Two Is Company, Three Is A Crowd.'"

"I don't believe this." Jim got to his feet, crumbs tumbling out of his beard. "I'll be in Onrac when you're finished with this foolishness."

"Well, fine!" Kope shouted after him. "We'll have more fun without you, anyway!"

As he tucked grumpily into a mangled sandwich, the robot scooted closer to him until its primary propulsion device rested against his leg. "We Will Have More Fun Without Him," it agreed. "He Was A Third Wheel On A Symmetrical And Balanced Wheeled Unit."

"Whouff goo—" Kope swallowed. "Wouldn't go that far. Jim just needs some time to get used to you."

The robot pressed uncomfortably close. "We Will Have More Fun Without Him," it insisted, before jamming its cold faceplate against Kope's cheek. Something rattled rapidly in its internal workings. Its pincers rested on his thigh.

Kope froze mid-chew. After a moment's panicked paralysis, he leapt up and took off for Onrac at a run, spitting out bits of sandwich.

"Jim!" he howled. "Come back! It got weird!"


End file.
